What Your Cat Would Say If It Could Talk

* “I really wish I’d finished my doctorate.”
* “Where is your tail?”
* “I peed on your shoes because your feet smell worse than my pee.”
* “I hear a burglar. I just don’t care.”
* “That cat who snuggles up to nursing home patients before they die is my hero.”
* “What do you say we stop vacuuming altogether?”
* “I’m still trying to inhale your soul while you sleep.”
* “I hate my body.”
* “Oh no, Miss Honey… them shoes is all wrong!”
* “It’s tongue time!”
* “No one thinks your status updates are funny. No. One.”
* “If you want excitement when you walk through a door, get a dog.”
* “Yes, I was chasing something. You can’t see mouse ghosts.”
* “Your boss is right – you do need to take initiative.”