Saturday, May 31, 2014

Friday, May 30, 2014



It's almost like none of y'all like the cat whiskers I had surgically embedded in my face.

Find The Cat


Thursday, May 29, 2014



No more pencils
No more books
No more teacher's dirty looks
School's out for Summer

Just received a text from Hello Kitty. It's blank.

'We don't need no education..we don't need no thought control'. -Pink Floyd, and cats.


Wednesday, May 28, 2014



I feel like some of my followers should be in prison.

It's 16 days 'til the World Cup. I have no idea what that means either. Anyway, I hope the cats win.

The cold hard fact is that no one has ever been murdered by a cat. At least it hasn't been proven.

Whatever your cat's name.. make sure you're are prefacing it with St. As in Saint. For example: St. Socks, or St. Snowball. etc.

Do you live in America? Have you been shot today? Are you still alive? Good job!

Well, now, that's interesting


Monday, May 26, 2014



Name your first child "butter", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say "I can't believe it's not butter!”

Happy Meowmorial Day. Thanks to those who have fought for ALL Americans. No matter the race, religion, or sexual orientation

I can’t handle … all this swag


Sunday, May 25, 2014



Guns don't kill people, people kill people. => Toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast.

I was in a gang once — we used to carry pocket knives & wear all green with blood-red bandanas around our neck. Wait, that was Boy Scouts.


Saturday, May 24, 2014



Cats, Meowmorial Day is just around the corner. Stay away from the grills. Americans will  grill anything.

Because why not sit on your own head? Why not.

If you wanna grill out you got to take her out, propane. Happy Memorial Day weekend and so forth, what have you etc.

Shout out to memories, just sittin' there all alone in the moonlight and whatnot.