~HAPPY WEDNESDAY~

>^..^<

I threw up on your shoes. Yep, both of them.

I like curly blonde hair on women because it reminds me of ramen.

 Did you know that if you squint at a cat and it squints back, it's the cat's way of saying "What the f are you looking at?!"

Today's hump day. You know, like that hideous thing on your back.

~PEACE~

~HAPPY TUESDAY~

>^..^<

YES, REALLY DO LIKE!

Loneliness is not getting your pets spayed or neutered so that you can have grandkids someday

My drag name is Kitty Von Pussy Lips.

Who is this George Clooney and why are people so excited about his engagement? Don't you people have lives? Wait, nevermind.

~PEACE~

~HAPPY MONDAY~

>^..^<

If you ever forget Jesus' full name, just stub your toe.

 WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake.

Stop whatever you're doing right now and take a minute to panic.

~PEACE~

~HAPPY SUNDAY~

>^..^<

I can't imagine anything sadder than the crowd that breaks into applause during the taping of a cooking show.

~PEACE~

~HAPPY SATURDAY~

>^..^<

It’s easy to blame other people for your problems, so do that

Have you ever dreamt of a world where there's cat hair on everything you own? #AdoptACat

One of my dreams is to have an elephant give me a shower with its trunk.

ME, WHENEVER I SEE KITTENS!

~PEACE~

~HAPPY FRIDAY~

~PEACE~

~HAPPY THURSDAY~

>^..^<

SHOUT OUT TO CAT FOOD!! YUMMERS!

That awkward moment when you pretend to die in front of your pet and they don't move

YES

You don’t realize how attached you are to someone until you go without talking to them for a bit

Sometimes you have to let your heart do the talking.

SEEING SOMEONE FROM WORK IN PUBLIC

World takeover status: It's going pretty damn good considering you dumbasses can't locate a 777.

~PEACE~

~HAPPY WEDNESDAY~

CLICK HERE >^..^<