~HAPPY MONDAY~

OMG! it's so hot the neighbor chihuahuas aren't wearing any clothes

Time to vacuum!

WORST PART OF SUMMER!

~PEACE~

~HAPPY SUNDAY~

>^..^<

It's very important to have quality time with your couch.

Folks don't say "dork" these days. America took a wrong turn when we stopped sayin' dork. Start sayin' that again before it's too late. #SHOUTOUT

4th of July in 5 days. Did you know that one of America's favorite drinks on that day is beer with fingers floating in it?

PRETTY AWESOME!

~PEACE~

~HAPPY SATURDAY~

>^..^<

If you missed #BRA vs #CHI grab a chair, pick it up, and hit yourself in the face with it.

~PEACE~

~HAPPY FRIDAY~

>^..^<

Do you KNOW who you REALLY are? If so, why do you care what someone else thinks of you? Hmmmm. #ponderthat

Unmotivated? Lethargic? Have mood swings? A sporadic appetite? Sleep a lot? You aren’t depressed, you’re a cat.

LIKE

Sometimes I wonder if there's a God. Then I remember that I'm God, and it freaks Me out.

Unfortunately I have to spend time reminding people to keep their cats and dogs inside during 4th of July cause some Americans are idiots.

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~PEACE~

~HAPPY THURSDAY~

>^..^<

~HAPPY WEDNESDAY~

>^..^<

So... If you kill a midget, do you only serve half the sentence? #ponderthat

~PEACE~

~HAPPY TUESDAY~

>^..^<

 THIS CAT HAS NO FEAR

I burped, coughed and hiccupped all at once! Not sure if I should feel accomplished or be worried I tore something. #ponderthat

~PEACE~

~HAPPY MONDAY~

>^..^<

I'm sorry you hate cats and that you have Herpes

Happy Meownday catophiles.

HEY MOM, I AM WAITING! FEED ME!

~PEACE~

~HAPPY SUNDAY~

>^..^<

How is Arby's still in business? Has anybody ever heard a friend say, "let's go to Arby's"? #ponderthat

Shout out to various powders. On your feet, on your baby, in guns, up your nose, in protein shakes and whatnot. Thanks, various powders.

Didn't think I could play soccer 'til I realized it's mostly just rollin' around on the ground.

Shout out to weathermen telling us the barometric pressure like we know what the hell to do with that information

U.S.A.! U.S.A!

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