1. You notice that Seasonal Affective Disorder has the initials SAD, and you’re both sad and angry about this. You make up a new word, “sangry,” and you are. Sangry.
2. You build 14 detailed snowmen with various personalities and traits. Then you kill them. With a blowtorch.
3. Warm cookies cheer you up. At least the first couple dozen do. Then they make you sangry.
4. You build 14 more snowmen, all different from the first 14, but they meet the same fate. And before they do, you say, “Now you will meet the same fate!” as if they understood you and feared the blowtorch.
5. The happy cries of children yelling “snow day!” sound like actual crying to you, and you join in, which scares the children, and then they really do cry.
6. You go swimsuit shopping to cheer up. That’s how bad it’s gotten.
7. You build 14 more snowmen, put swimsuits on them and feed them cookies. Then, the blowtorch.
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