~YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE A LONG SCHOOL YEAR WHEN~

* The banner in front of the school reads, “Welcome! It’s going to be a long year.”* Bullying power moms steal your latte money in front of Starbucks* All the other kids make fun of your child’s Eat, Pray, Love lunch box* The cafeteria goes vegan* Due to budget cuts, the school switches its mascot to The Janitor. Played by… the janitor* Every other kid has a “Hot for Teacher” ringtone* There’s a train leaving Sheboygan at 10:30, and another train leaving Cuyahoga Falls at 10:45…* The class bully mentions that he learned mixed martial arts over the summer* You see a bunch of “Drug-Free Zone” signs outside your child’s kindergarten