Top Ten Signs Your Monkey Is Watching Too Much Television
10.His grades are slipping in monkey school
9.He spends most of the day picking nits off the cable guy
8.After "Heroes" was cancelled, he didn't eat bananas for a month
7.Sits around all day blowing his vuvuzela
6.Knows sign language for "food," "water," and "Cougar Town"
5.Removed all facial hair except for small Howie Mandel soul patch
4.Someone ordered a bunch of Schwarzenegger movies on-demand
3.When you try to change the channel, he rips your face off
2.He's pitched a show to Bravo: "Real Gibbons of New Jersey"
1.Enjoys watching fellow monkey Regis Philbin